Grief is an intense emotional process caused by personal loss. It involves acute sorrow, deep sadness, suffering, pain, and anguish. You can grieve the death of a loved one, or you can grieve losses brought about by changes or disappointments in your life.
Grief is a difficult, lonely experience. Grief is not predictable...not everyone experiences it in the same way. Also, many times, especially after an overwhelming loss, a person may feel he or she has recovered to some extent only to be visited again by intense grief. There's no time frame for ending a grieving process. In fact, in some cases, aspects of grief will always be present, but in a less intense form.
GRIEVING IS A HEALTHY PROCESS
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelation 21:4, NIV)
In Heaven, God promises that there'll no longer be any death or pain, but in this life we're bound to experience grief and sorrow. Jesus promised that those who mourn will be comforted (Matthew 5:4), which implies that He knew grief would be part of life...even for a Christian. Mourning a loss is not sinful or something to be avoided. Instead, when you experience loss, you can know God will comfort you. Jesus Himself experienced grief and wept. (John 11:35-38)
Expressing feelings of guilt, anger, confusion, or despair is the beginning of the grieving process. God knows that you experience these feelings, and He's more than able to help you heal from them. When you offer them to God, He'll bring His comfort, hope, and encouragement. He knows every thought and feeling in the deepest parts of your heart. Because of that, He knows exactly how to help you grieve. God can help you move beyond those intense feelings, which, if harbored, can interfere with your spiritual growth. If you never acknowledge these feelings, however, you can't move beyond them.
FOR THE CHRISTIAN, DEATH IS NOT THE END OF LIFE
"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" (John 11:25-26)
The death of a loved one is often the most intense form of grief we experience. Even if the person who died was a Christian, there's still a sense of loss for those who remain in this world. Christians often feel this particular tension...the joy of knowing a loved one is in God's presence and the pain of missing him or her now. For the Christian, the permanent loss from death was eliminated by Jesus' death and resurrection. We'll be reunited in Heaven, but we still feel sorrow in the present. God understands this and offers His comfort. You can trust Romans 8:28, which says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Though grieved by the loss of a loved one, you can still find God's joy when you look for and trust God's goodness in these difficult circumstances.
COMFORT IN GRIEF
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
God offers His comfort directly, and He also uses us to comfort each other. We're given the privilege of being in one body...the body of Christ...caring for each other during difficult times. When someone is grieving, you may fear not having the right words to say. Often this can lead to isolation for a grieving person, since people are afraid they'll say something wrong. Simply be present for someone who is grieving. There are often no words that can remedy such situations. Instead, you can focus your attention on meeting the immediate needs of a grieving person. This can include simple physical needs, such as providing a meal or making phone calls. It can also mean helping with an emotional need by being a compassionate listener or by simply sitting with someone. You can ask God for direction in what to do and say and depend on Him to guide you. Consistent love and kindness will help a person grieve according to his or her own time frame. |
